Monday, August 14, 2006

Stairwell Rope and Denture

when I was nine years old my grandad took a rope
tied it around his neck and
- you know what is coming next –
leapt down the stairs, to bring to an end
his seventy long years.

they found his dentures on the worn hallway carpet.

that same day i broke out in a strange rash
itchy, with white welts on sore red skin,
the likes of which I’d never seen before, nor since.
this leads me to believe I’m allergic to suicide
by stairwell rope and denture.

fortunately I’ve not been disproved otherwise.

In the weeks beforehand my grandad would turn up
with wet trousers from attempted drowning,
but the north sea is cold and anti-depressants were rare
and psychologists on north-east housing estates
rarer still.

he had a hammer too, but he never used it.

there exists somewhere a photo
taken the Sunday before he died
of the two us in a dodgem car, by the seaside
one of us facing life
the other facing death.

sometimes I worry about the future too much.
sometimes I don’t worry about it enough.
Ben Myers

No comments: