Sunday, July 01, 2007

I Will Murder the Tiny Break Dancing Child

I will murder the tiny break-dancing child that dances on Market Street in the afternoons near the Arndale Centre and sometimes outside HMV. I will not murder the tiny break-dancing child in front of a gathered crowd, and then take off my cap and go round the crowd and ask for money. I will not murder the tiny break-dancing child to show off. I will murder the tiny break-dancing child quietly and in private. I will murder him somehow using myspace. I will check his myspace profile three or four hundred times a day. I will send him private messages and post comments on his wall and continue checking his profile until one day it says ‘murdered’ on it.
I will make you a mix CD. I will theme the mix CD. The theme of the mix CD will be ‘bitterness and child murder’. I will start the mix CD off with the song ‘My Boyfriend’s Back’ by The Angels. I will follow that song with something by your boyfriend’s band. Then I will copy over the whole of the album ‘My Red Scare’ by Frankie Sparo. Then I will spend the rest of my life entering the keyword search ‘child murder’ into mp3 blog aggregating sites such as
I will urinate into my own heart.
I want to murder the tiny break-dancing child.
I want to take something small and hot like the end of a struck match or the tip of a cigarette and touch it to myself somewhere, but not long enough for it to burn or leave a scar. I want to live inside the song ‘We’ll Make a Lover of You’ by Les Savy Fav. I want to somehow crawl inside this song and stay there until I die inside it. I want to be a dramatic American living in England. I want to go down the stairs of my flat late at night and turn on the light in the bathroom and look at the shower and remember me and you in there and then take my heart out of my body and urinate into it.
I will murder the tiny break-dancing child.

Chris Killen


Socrates said...

The tiny break dancing child is in league with the massively smiling money and address grabbing charity supporting bastards who stop me every single day on my way home. The child causes a ring of spectators to watch him while the charity guys run around clinging on to people's legs. "Can I have a minute of your time while you watch the tiny break dancing child?" "No I have to cook dinner?" "What are you cooking" "None of your business" "Do you have a girlfriend" "Leave me alone" "It's very sad, going home to cook for yourself when you could be saving starving tiny break dancing african children" Then I look over at the child's care worn and prematurely aged face and see the red mist and just start shouting "I need to find a new route home. I need to find a new route home. I need to find a new route home." People think I am busking and I make £5.75 and an all day bus pass.

d anderson said...

Chris Killen's writing is so good it makes me sick to my stomach. mighty fine. watch out for the novels.

anyonita jenea said...

if you murdered him now, you'd get all the money he won.